Sunday, December 8, 2013

The Perfect Gift

Early Sunday morning. No color in the morning sky but a pale shade of gray.  This blank canvas is the backdrop to bare trees, naked as they wait for the coming storm. The dark branches are still and sturdy.  A welcome respite, for the birds that are flying furiously to find food before the snow begins to fall. Squirrels chatter as they compete for the feeder filled with hearty sunflower seeds from seasons past and I wait. I wait in morning stillness, filled with warmth, like the morning fire stoked up and warming the hearth stone for the day to come. 

This morning time is nudging me to be still, live still and breath in stillness.  Whenever this winter's cold stops me in my tracks it also pushes, like a hard, relentless wind, and makes me stop and reflect back over the year. I hear it telling me to rest and slow down. Scurrying about, it's easy to lose site of the spirit that comes in this very moment, to each and every one of us this season, only if we let it. The dance of balance to be in the moment versus time to reflect.

Yesterday, my heart was filled with spirit.  A plentiful day that brimmed with discovering creations, made by someone else's hands.  Creations that all started, when a spark from some distant, swirling inspiration touched and moved them to create.  From an open heart into creative hands, transformed to beauty, only to be let go, into my hands, for me to give, from my heart.  

Real talk and spending the day with a great friend made ever fleeting time, last and stick and create a lovely memory to be held this whole holiday season and in ones to come. That to me was living in the moment for the whole day.  This was the true gift.  The one that feeds my soul, inspires and helps me know everything is all right.  The truest gift, a real gift, the perfect gift.

Monday, July 22, 2013


Flooded…filled up and overflowing with great things and not so great things. That delicate balance we try for as life sends us on an unexpected turn that brings us back to 'real' and what's important. Yesterday, a day that started out with a full docket of catching up and the usual chores…a run to the grocery store, some laundry (always!), tidying up the house, pull a few weeds, write a set list for an upcoming concert and some paper work all before a swim team banquet.  Only, a major diversion occurred. It started with a call to tend to someone in need which put most of these things aside or lightly touched not to be touched too soon. Things were flooded.  But this time I felt like I was suspended in a whirlpool, with all things swirling and floating around  me, not far but still out of reach.  Last night, as things were overflowing.  I knew to hang on  until the waters subsided.  Sometimes, that's all you can do.  Just before I was going to tuck myself in, I looked up at the beautiful rising full moon behind a hazy, summer night sky and I was reminded....I'm here, in the right place and the right time and part of something much bigger than I can imagine..... 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Cawfee talk for a real, 'Real Feel'

Yesterday, I started the day with two of my dearest friends.  We call it 'Cawfee.'  We rarely drink coffee when we get together but we know what it means when we see it in the subject line. 'Cawfee.' It's our time, a time we make, for ourselves, together, to check in with each other, share, dream, cry, laugh, hug and love each other as the three of us try to figure out life.  I'm so grateful to these two for helping me work through tough times and the nudges they give me to look a little deeper.  When I do and the tears fall, they are right there to catch them. 

The topic of 'self love' came up.  This is written so beautifully...Check out this link:  I think I still have a long road ahead in this department but taking time for 'cawfee' is a step in the right direction.  Taking time-what I often feel I have not enough of.  There is no question, that the time I take for 'cawfee' is well spent.  A stepping stone, a great big, huge stepping stone in the right direction...going to hold this with me.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


Crooked: something bent, not straight, twisted and misaligned.  Not truthful, not open or upfront. Does life get this way sometimes when we continue to brush things under the rug and not communicate and then when we do the perceived straight path goes into some jagged, crooked, crooked road that we don't even recognize?  Loosing ground beneath our feet and feeling like we've taken so many steps back after working so hard to make the ones that brought us forward. Commitment to doing what is right, making good choices so as to not hurt someone else or yourself.  Crookedness is a barrier, a big hurdle to jump over rather than become or go through because it tears down all you've built in time in a  split second and leaves you feeling less than you are.  Part of humanness.  When you do something wrong and need to build back up, it builds strength, courage and determination. It builds compassion for others going through their crooked paths.  I'm jumping over it and leaving it all behind for working with all that has been given  me…all the gifts of my family and the people in my life, my inner gifts and love I have deep down that will pull me out of this dark feeling that I'm bad, not good enough and always doing wrong… some old belief pattern instilled when I was a young girl or perhaps a past life.  I do good in the world and will continue to do good, without hurting others.  This is the road I walk.

Have a great one...

A Voucher*

A promise of something to come later, that's not quite ready, but you've earned it.  A gift of sorts, packed in waiting.  The contents dictate the longing for, the anticipation of, the expectations of what will be fulfilled when presenting it for an exchange. The end result of negotiation.   She knew she'd have to hold this for a long time, but there was no expiration date.  It may get tattered along the way, forgotten and tucked away in a box for some rainy day perusal.  But there was one stipulation. It can be traded in, only when the time is right for all and the stars are aligned.  

*I'm trying a morning writing practice and the past several posts have been from prompts by Peggy Tabor Millin, Clarity Works, Inc.  Check her out. Enjoying this and it's becoming a part of the day I really look forward to!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Supposed to….

Woke up to unfolded laundry on the couch, a semi clean kitchen and week of new assignments for work, plus juggling Driver's Ed classes, swim team practices, meals, tending the miraculous garden and feeding all the critters.  Yet here I am writing, to start my week with words, ones that will inspired me to keep focused on a truer path, full of heart and soul and love. No blue skies this morning…The woods are still, against a white dawn sky…more rain today after the buckets that poured down last night.  The lush green, swallows me up, so rare for mid July here, so unlike the years past in drought.  There is a gentle flicker of movement as two birds find there way back to their nest.  As I must soon go to tend mine…the gentlest breeze enticing the leaves to move as I watch their subtle shimmer of them holding on to the drops of last nights rain.  Holding on to the beauty as the nudge of the percolator and time on the clock push to organize for tasks ahead, I hold the lush green stillness inside.

Sunday, July 7, 2013


Life is fragile. We  wake up each day with all our dreams, thoughts and jobs in our back pack, thrown in with a bit of inspiration and head out for the day.  Keeping it all positive and open always feels best…seems things flow and connect and are on the same wavelength. Then why do we get so sidetracked by someone who must start their day very differently? Is it the challenge before  me  that sets me on a mission to try to help them see another way-that desire to help them, cause life is too short to live such a negative, narrow spin?  We've all been there in that closed, dark space where we seem to not be understood or heard.  And what rescues us? A stranger's smile, an offer to help, a kind touch, a hawk flying across our path, a lovely memory, a friend who sits and listens? Or simply waking up the next morning, determined to live a better way; to see the beauty in things…even in the challenges that brought us to this place where we stand, right now.  My teeny world and the confrontations I encounter are so small yet feel devastating at times.  But when I peel back and reach deep down, I know what I want to create, I know how I want to live and I know what I need. Today, I'm setting out with a lot of belief that life is to be lived to it's fullest, that every moment is precious, that love surrounds us all and can be seen if we remain open and focused.  Pieces are coming back together, determined not to be shattered…thank you beautiful, blue skies this morning!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Whistlin' and Fishin' in Heaven

It would be 28 years ago that my Dad left this planet….he was 59 and I was 24.  I can't believe so much time has passed since that night.  My brother Rob and I sat up with my Dad.   I had my guitar in hand and we sang every Harry Chapin and John Prine song we knew.  The one that sticks the most in my memory is 'Fish and Whistle.'  A great John Prine song that just fit the closeness of that moment, of just being there, not knowing when Dad would slip away.  The chorus: "Father forgive us for what we must do; you forgive us, we'll forgive you.  We'll forgive each other 'til we both turn blue and we'll go whistlin' and fishin' in heaven…"  My Dad loved  to fish and it was just the perfect song other than when I woke up in the middle of the night to give Dad a dose of pain medicine and heard Jackson Browne's "Rock me on the Water" only to find Dad had passed on into the universe.  Thinking of you, Dad,  and I smile with the thought that you are 'whistlin and fishin' in heaven.' Miss you…
I wrote a song for Dad a few years back: Another Time  (it's the last song down the list...take a listen if you have a chance at this link:  )